Do You Need A Boyfriend…Or A Dog?

What a question this is…

I know I know, you’re thinking these are two very different things.

But the truth is, everybody needs somebody.. or at least they think they do.

However, it can be hard to determine if you’re looking for someone more like a boyfriend or someone more like, ya know, an amazing French bulldog that smells like sunshine and has a white patch on their belly (I mean, that sounds pretty amazing to me!)

 

If you’re looking for unconditional love…

You’re definitely looking for: A DOG. 

A dog is the only creature you can leave alone for hours on end and when you come home, they completely forget all about it and love you just the same. In fact, they will act as if you just saved a baby from a burning building and that you’re some sort of hero… EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.. its the BEST feeling.

If you’re looking for someone who will never judge you…

Well, once again you’re looking for: A DOG

A dog will see every weird, disgusting, embarrassing habit you have when you’re alone at home, and will NEVER judge you. They’ll just go and lick (or touch if you have a dog like my Henry) themselves inappropriately in response!

If you’re looking for someone who depends on you…

If you’re the type that finds self-worth based on others’ need for you in their lives, then guess what? You’re looking for: A DOG. 

A dog will literally DEPEND on you to survive. They rely on you to feed them, bathe them, take them to the bathroom…EVERYTHING. Nothing will give you a more sense of purpose than owning a pup!

If you’re looking for a BEST FRIEND…

If you’re looking for a PARTNER IN CRIME, someone to go on adventures with, or get into trouble with, you’re looking for: A DOG

A dog will have the best time doing ANYTHING with you and will never complain. If you’re looking for someone to go on long walks with, go shopping with, or even someone to binge watch Netflix and eat junk food with… a pup will gladly do any of those things with you and will have the BEST TIME doing it! You’ll even get to pick which shows to watch and you wont have to share your human treats… unless its popcorn .. I know my Henry loves it!

If you’re looking for someone who will defend your honour ..

If you’re looking for someone to take action if they see something suspicious, if they suspect you are in danger or if they sense you are sad, well congratulations, because you’re looking for: A DOG.

Dogs are the most intuitive creatures out there, and they can sense danger and fear a mile away. Getting a dog is like getting a little security guard to follow you around at night. Sure, they might not be able to do anything when the time come besides bark or hide in the bathroom (depending on how big they are), but it’s the thought that counts!

If you’re looking for someone to snuggle with…

If you’re looking for someone to spoon with at night, someone who snores loudly in your ear all night long, but will wake you up with kisses and cuddles, you’re looking for: A DOG

Sleeping next to a dog is like sleeping next to a warm puffy cloud, that smells like everything HAPPY AND WONDERFUL in this world and will look extra cute while they do it!

If you’re looking for someone who thinks you’re the greatest thing this planet has to offer…

If you’re looking for someone who will provide you with endless support and remind you that YOU ARE THE BEST every single damn day, you’re looking for: A DOG

You can say or do the STUPIDEST, MOST RIDICULOUS thing and your dog will just look at you like you just said/did THE BEST THING THATS EVER HAPPENED.

If you’re looking for someone to have sex with…

Well then,

OBVIOUSLY you’re looking for a boyfriend…

you Perv.